OK, here goes nothing!
Cherry tree blossoms
Gently falling; petals like snow -
A princess cries.
The alternative wording to this that I have been toying with and am unsure which looks better is:
Cherry blossom
Gently falling; petals like snow -
A princess crying.
Which one do you prefer? I think that they both deliver the same message, but I am unsure which I prefer.. Am happy to receive peoples thoughts and views. As the title suggests, I am new at this so any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.
Definitely the second, more distilled somehow.
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