Hell and high writing
I feel a nervous energy flowing about me when I am not writing, yet when I sit to put pen to paper I feel that I am stifled - that the words are there, hiding just out of sight mocking my ineffectual musings and procrastinations. If I could, I would just mind dump the whole lot onto the paper in one continuous stream, turning the tap of my brain on and emptying it down this drain of paper. I heard that there is a technique called 'freewriting' which does exactly that: throwing words at the paper in a relentless onslaught, an unending barrage of verbs and nouns, consonants and vowels – the ultimate game of 'countdown' all in one round.
Sadly this hasn't worked for me as of yet. The words have put up barricades in my head, dug trenches and set up traps in my mind. I feel like I am a soldier in the trenches fighting these words to the death, or at least a wrestling match where I am not allowed to use my hands yet they can fight me in packs with bats. It's a sad sorry state that I find myself in, all tongue tied and useless. They say that this is called 'writers block', well I think it's more like a brick wall covering the doors and windows of my creative soul. I am not sure if I have been evicted or just boarded over and forgotten about but that is how it stands.
Another option that I heard works is something called 'clustering'. Apparently this is where you pick a word or phrase to start with, and then spider off one word or phrase at a time that you can associate with your starter or 'key' word or phrase. Hmpf! Trying to think of a starter word is hard enough, let alone word association! I managed to write one word the other day! Then I crossed it out, then blocked it out with permanent marker, and then I went looking for some correction fluid to remove it from the page entirely. After that, I made a cup of tea, had a biscuit and went back to the page, scrunched it up, threw it at the bin, then spent ten minutes playing 'bin basketball'.
I repeated this sad sorry state for a week solid! My God it's awful this block, this worrying nagging energy buzzing about with no outlet. I feel like the words that I want to write are a swarm of angry bees buzzing about inside my head. If they don't get a release soon, they are going to sting my brain to pieces. This way, madness lies! OK, lets try again...
interesting post Neil. clustering is great, mainly because you can go anywhere. I seem to see connections everywhere an in anything. I quite like the martial aspect you developed, fighting in the trenches of one's mind and wrestling with words. well done :)
ReplyDeleteLove your descriptions of clustering, you sound a lot like me! I think you've conveyed the frustration of writer's block very well, nice touches of humour and a good use of imagery.
ReplyDeleteThank you both! I thought it was an amusing irony to write about writer's block and so I am glad that it appeared convincing! I like both clustering and freewriting techniques and find that they both bring something new when developing ideas around a key word or phrase.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for your lovely comments!
Neil I really like how you have captured the experience of a writer in this post. There are certainly elements which I can relate to especially making a cup of tea as way of procrastination. There is a real sense of frustration which radiates from the post. I particularly like the reference to a boarded house in relation to the mind of a struggling writer. A clever piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much! I found it a rather fun subject to play with, the idea of writing about not being able to write and all the troubles that ensue.
ReplyDeleteI am pleased that you liked it!